Since my last post "Lover or Spouse" published, many comments here touched me and let me feel surprised that you young guys know much more and much better than that me at your age! The thinkings, sayings and ideas such as
Aw: "the best result is, to be in love, and to be married",
Cat: "Marriage is just a contract. ..... You can't marriage with a customized underlying contract",
Angel: "I choose to keep the feeling hiding in the deep corner of my heart and view it as a cherish memory which can rise a smile on my face",
Lun: "The important thing to remember is that people change over the years" ,
Fishrine: " A personal feeling can not be imitate or copy",
specially AngelaRong: "It is a learning course.It is a new journey. On the way of our journey,we should be more patient, initiative and positive, we should keep our oath deep in our minds" ,
And even Jia's jeering mind: " I don't care that much now. I gotta be influenced by feminism movement" , etc.....almost all comes from your own experiences.
I really didn't know what love was and what spouse or marriage was when first love feelings bumped into my mind at my 15. He was my classmate and very clever and bright, which is attracting to me badly. However I merely loved him in mind and enjoyed his gazes at me, as I knew that he also had favor to me. We even didn't say anything relating to love and never touched hands. At that time, the sensitivity of love flashed and enlarged whenever I saw him and wherever I found a small excuse to talk with him.... Such a feelings touched me, lighted me and let me happy and active to do everything.....
Anyway, he didn't become my boyfriend later on. It is another long story to say why. lol....
The key idea I want to tell you now is when I met him again 10 year's after, the above impression and emotion onto him was gone without any sign. Then, I suddenly realized that the first love is merely my own cream feelings. The first love was coming from my young mind and it was a kind of flame, no matter who lighted up it!
We now meet occasionally at parties of old classmates, but we normally nod for greetings. However, the first love is still mine and staying in my mind. It is worthwhile to be treasured in my whole life!
first love is always be ourselves' .
i think this feeling just comes from our desire to love when we actually didn't know what is love.
so somebody might say:first love is blind.But i also love it.
Mostly, when we had first love, we were too young to forgive and too young to take care and too young to love.
If there was a help, things would be much better. But we can never turn back time.
So... anyway, just don't let me say "if only I could ... " in the next time.
Yes, too young to know love then! Almost everyone would take this step! lol...
This is life! Then we people grow up and go up along these steps.....
First love is like a piece of dry leaf in my book
- once it's green, now it's gold.
- silently it stays inside, but it may fall out someday.
No matter that leaf is dry now, or fallen down later on, I bet the green it ever brought to you is catching your life!
I was once told by an old friend that she didn't know what first love was. What a pity!
So, I think I am lucky that I ever got it which let me know what the most nice feelings is in one's life!
Though I have no feeling with my first lover, I can remember that I love her deeply then...
Lisa AYi,:P
I don't know whether that kind of love at your 15 could be labeled as "LOVE"; However, it was lucky you and lucky me all experienced before.
Now, I tend to look at love more as a two-way, mutual relationship & intangible but perceivable journey. A journey where two person respect, support, and loyal to each other. It's too fantasy though, I thought.
Jia,
maybe you are right that so-called "Love" at that age of 15, should not have been regarded as a real love.. However, I felt the nice feelings which could let your heart beating faster and urged you to try more to be closed with that boy...lol
I surely got to know later on that such first love is only an open sensibility of youth. It is not that mature love in marrage which is consisted of resposibility and endurance mainly.....
Nevertheless, we had it, the first love!