Author Archives: Lisa

About Lisa

Working while living with a nice mood, passion and hope.....

The Universal & Eternal Topics--Love and Death

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20

I ever heard when I was very young that LOVE and DEATH was the endless talk among people. And now I do think so!

Since Love is so pop in current world and particularly in youth, I am not going to say more here but focus on Death. My theme is what we die for, so thus what we live for.....

I was educated to live for others, so that heroic complex sit in my heart for a long time. That was in the last century, which seems far from current time. However, I got to know after so called "Great Revolution", there was really someone wanted to be an emperor and behaved in the name of hero. But history proves that such persons are merely ants, busy with their own benefit while let so many good people as their victim.

When I finally got to know that one should die for some meaningful life, other than love with someone, I was not so young. Nevertheless, it was not late for me to struggle for that vigilant idea and then I put it into action. I left government post, stayed far away from those places where I could see bribe as well as corruption and began to do some solid jobs in a root level. Though I am no longer an official now, I am happy that I am living valuably!

I am not an example but I do believe my life is of signification and without any regret! I will be unperturbed to face my death.

My First Love and My first Lover Now

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9

Since my last post "Lover or Spouse" published, many comments here touched me and let me feel surprised that you young guys know much more and much better than that me at your age! The thinkings, sayings and ideas such as

Aw: "the best result is, to be in love, and to be married",

Cat: "Marriage is just a contract. ..... You can't marriage with a customized underlying contract",

Angel: "I choose to keep the feeling hiding in the deep corner of my heart and view it as a cherish memory which can rise a smile on my face",

Lun: "The important thing to remember is that people change over the years" ,

Fishrine: " A personal feeling can not be imitate or copy",

specially AngelaRong: "It is a learning course.It is a new journey. On the way of our journey,we should be more patient, initiative and positive, we should keep our oath deep in our minds" ,

And even Jia's jeering mind: " I don't care that much now. I gotta be influenced by feminism movement" , etc.....almost all comes from your own experiences.

I really didn't know what love was and what spouse or marriage was when first love feelings bumped into my mind at my 15. He was my classmate and very clever and bright, which is attracting to me badly. However I merely loved him in mind and enjoyed his gazes at me, as I knew that he also had favor to me. We even didn't say anything relating to love and never touched hands. At that time, the sensitivity of love flashed and enlarged whenever I saw him and wherever I found a small excuse to talk with him.... Such a feelings touched me, lighted me and let me happy and active to do everything.....

Anyway, he didn't become my boyfriend later on. It is another long story to say why. lol....

The key idea I want to tell you now is when I met him again 10 year's after, the above impression and emotion onto him was gone without any sign. Then, I suddenly realized that the first love is merely my own cream feelings. The first love was coming from my young mind and it was a kind of flame, no matter who lighted up it!

We now meet occasionally at parties of old classmates, but we normally nod for greetings. However, the first love is still mine and staying in my mind. It is worthwhile to be treasured in my whole life!

Lover or Spouse?

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20

Among my friends and acquaintance, there are so many couples divorced after their N years' passionate marriage. This pushed me to think about why and how a good marriage came down......

There are so many reasons and some background what make such things happen, however, I believe the key for keeping a marriage is to know the difference between love and marriage.

Love (I mean only love to person, and hereinafter) is a personal feelings. You may fall love into someone without any reason or sense. Love is after all love, while marriage is mostly responsibility legally, though there should be some love feelings in which sex is the core.

In terms of this point, it is the personality and the matched natures of a couple that can support them for a long time marriage. When the couple in a hard time or they are facing something inexpectant, they can work together to fix it. Then, here comes the point. Do you know your girlfriend/boyfriend deeply and fully before you decide to marry her/him? Do you think she/he suits you and can struggle together with you for a long life?

No one will say "No" when he/she is in crazy love before marriage. However, I have found so many happy couples fighting after a few or many years' marriage, and then marriage destroyed.

My husband was not my lover when we got married, but now he is my best friend and buddy. Surely he is my lovely hubby! Why? we knew each other when I was 4 and he was 5, when we moved in a same military courtyard and happened to be neighbors. We grew up in a same environment and had similar education, etc. In our long marriage, we had some quarrels, but no matters relating money. lol

I am not giving a lecture here on how to find a good spouse, but I want to share my big experience with young people on how two people who have had a similar background can create a long marriage.

I am looking forward to your comments and we can have a discussion

Know yourself Deeply First!

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6

When I was young, I really believed that it was me who knew me best. However, after more than half century, I am getting to know that I didn't know myself deeply. What I had known clearly was mostly what I wanted.

The support for this point is, but not limited, as follows:

  • My blood type even drove me to act beyond my self-consciousness. After comparing with many same natured people, I got to know that we had the same blood type, based on which our tempers or behaviors are similar.
  • My nature coming mainly from my parents could be the potential power which leaded or adjusted my mood without my self-consciousness. Several years ago I got to understand that the hardest thing to me was not changing the world but to change or control myself! And what I am mostly doing now is also to go on managing myself!
  • Aggregated from the above two points and mixed with what I had learnt and acquired along with my growing, came my idea, my desire and my action. During this course, the living circumstance before adult played an important role in my life. The branded influence could almost accompany my whole life.
  • .................

I don't want to say wordily here since I know smart people can understand me fully. I merely show this mind and share with people who really want self-consciousness and self-control in their life.

Tow Scenes I can never forget!

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10

1, That night in middle August, 1966 when I decided to leave home to catch other classmates and step on the way so-called "Revolutionary Great Chuanlian"(Chuanlian is Pinyin, means to free travel all over China to spread flame during "Wenge"), my mother handed me a wool jumper with a deep sigh: "Go ahead towards your way..... " I could see the dark clouds on her face, but didn't know the real situation my father was facing then. I only knew that I was not a "Red Guard" yet up to that time since my father who was being interrogated by those "Revolutionary sodilders".... I was so excited by the feelings of touring all over the strange places I wanted whithout any adult as company, that I even didn't say "goodbye" to my father before left. Since then, I could never see my dearest father again!

2, One and half months later when I managed to come back home from so called "Great Chuanlian", I bumped into one by one strange glance from the old faces when I ented that Military Courtyard where we had lived for 12 years. People tried to leave me as I mere a lucifer. The on duty guard soldier standing at the gate even hesitated to reject me in. However, he ceased when he met my pique. I knew the reason that my father died one week ago due to heavy persecuting by so-called "Red Insurrectionist" in Army and hereafter, we his children was put into the hell from the heaven! I raised my head with a disparaging smile and then went into the big military courtyard towards my home and my mother......

Three Days in Life

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4

I am told there are only 3 days totally in one's life. They are: yesterday, today and tomorrow! I know it is a symbolistic saying that means what you have experienced, what you are holding on and what you are looking forl.....

Surely! To me:

Yesterday was full of happy childhood before "Wen Ge" and sufferings after it;

Today is working hardly and updating mysel everyday by new knowledge;

Tomorrow will be a new journey to new places with my endless passion and hope......

With ifgogo, I believe that my yesterday was Microsoft Word, my today is post and comment here, and my tomorrow will be Flash learned from awflasher and other genius!