Monthly Archives: November 2007

My First Love and My first Lover Now

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9

Since my last post "Lover or Spouse" published, many comments here touched me and let me feel surprised that you young guys know much more and much better than that me at your age! The thinkings, sayings and ideas such as

Aw: "the best result is, to be in love, and to be married",

Cat: "Marriage is just a contract. ..... You can't marriage with a customized underlying contract",

Angel: "I choose to keep the feeling hiding in the deep corner of my heart and view it as a cherish memory which can rise a smile on my face",

Lun: "The important thing to remember is that people change over the years" ,

Fishrine: " A personal feeling can not be imitate or copy",

specially AngelaRong: "It is a learning course.It is a new journey. On the way of our journey,we should be more patient, initiative and positive, we should keep our oath deep in our minds" ,

And even Jia's jeering mind: " I don't care that much now. I gotta be influenced by feminism movement" , etc.....almost all comes from your own experiences.

I really didn't know what love was and what spouse or marriage was when first love feelings bumped into my mind at my 15. He was my classmate and very clever and bright, which is attracting to me badly. However I merely loved him in mind and enjoyed his gazes at me, as I knew that he also had favor to me. We even didn't say anything relating to love and never touched hands. At that time, the sensitivity of love flashed and enlarged whenever I saw him and wherever I found a small excuse to talk with him.... Such a feelings touched me, lighted me and let me happy and active to do everything.....

Anyway, he didn't become my boyfriend later on. It is another long story to say why. lol....

The key idea I want to tell you now is when I met him again 10 year's after, the above impression and emotion onto him was gone without any sign. Then, I suddenly realized that the first love is merely my own cream feelings. The first love was coming from my young mind and it was a kind of flame, no matter who lighted up it!

We now meet occasionally at parties of old classmates, but we normally nod for greetings. However, the first love is still mine and staying in my mind. It is worthwhile to be treasured in my whole life!

Lover or Spouse?

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20

Among my friends and acquaintance, there are so many couples divorced after their N years' passionate marriage. This pushed me to think about why and how a good marriage came down......

There are so many reasons and some background what make such things happen, however, I believe the key for keeping a marriage is to know the difference between love and marriage.

Love (I mean only love to person, and hereinafter) is a personal feelings. You may fall love into someone without any reason or sense. Love is after all love, while marriage is mostly responsibility legally, though there should be some love feelings in which sex is the core.

In terms of this point, it is the personality and the matched natures of a couple that can support them for a long time marriage. When the couple in a hard time or they are facing something inexpectant, they can work together to fix it. Then, here comes the point. Do you know your girlfriend/boyfriend deeply and fully before you decide to marry her/him? Do you think she/he suits you and can struggle together with you for a long life?

No one will say "No" when he/she is in crazy love before marriage. However, I have found so many happy couples fighting after a few or many years' marriage, and then marriage destroyed.

My husband was not my lover when we got married, but now he is my best friend and buddy. Surely he is my lovely hubby! Why? we knew each other when I was 4 and he was 5, when we moved in a same military courtyard and happened to be neighbors. We grew up in a same environment and had similar education, etc. In our long marriage, we had some quarrels, but no matters relating money. lol

I am not giving a lecture here on how to find a good spouse, but I want to share my big experience with young people on how two people who have had a similar background can create a long marriage.

I am looking forward to your comments and we can have a discussion

The recent news from Aw

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10

(Hey all, guess who I am ^_^)

Well, I spent a very exciting weekend at the "Chinese Blogger Conference". I was very glad to see HideCloud, also an author of IfGoGo.com from ChongQing. Moreover, I luckly received an interview from the famous blog "danwei.org" and told them about lots of things in China and our "Chinese in English" blog - IfGoGo.com.

But it seems a pity that for a long time there's not a post from IfGoGo. Only Mikez was telling us that he's got a job :)

I know everyone is busy, and I am very busy too. Anyway, don't take it seriously and that's why I am coming now with this post :)

I Just wanna say something more about the IfGoGo.com, and our "goal". Well, though I had explained it for thousands of times, there were still lots of guys asking me about the adsense plan for IfGoGo.com. I will answer you guys again that there'll NOT be any adsense plan in the first year. We're just some guys who write for our interest. We're not money-makers. I would never give a fuck to those moneymaking-only "bloggers". Actually, writing only for money is NEVER a blogger, and even those "big bloggers" who makes 50$/day from affiliate plans aren't only writing for the moeny.

Well, another thing I wanna say today is that I did received all the requests for joining us as an author and I did saved your profiles well in my Gmail. The worst thing is that there's a continuous two-week busy working and I was really tired through, and the worst thing is that I've got "odontophlegmon" today. But I will SURELY be back to setup the accounts and privileges for you.

The last thing I wanna say is that, IfGoGo.com will never be a group of professional geeks, it will be a group of amateur bloggers with passion and interest, and loosely organized with just some simple rules.

We write for interest, we write for idea sharing and we NEVER write for money and traffic.

Ok I'll be employed finally...

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7

It's been so long since I made my apperance here, which of course has a reason - I was looking for a job. Actually I was after this company that I've coveted for at least half a year. Here a brief version of the story.

In mid-September when I was still struggling to finish up my postgrad dissertation in the UK, I sent an email to them, asking for an interview opportunity. They replied, and were surprisingly responsive. They were short of talents at that moment I guess. An interview was then made over a phone call from Hongkong on the day of my dissertation deadline. 14 September I still remember. Since it was still one month's time before I returned to China, they asked me to contact them after I went back, which I did.

In fact, I emailed them one week before my return flight on 22 October. A second interview was arranged on the 23rd, which, in retrospect, made my homecoming a bit like a business trip. The interview was with the team leader of my sector at the Beijing branch and it went on well. I made it through to the final and decisive third round with the Director of my sector last Friday. The third interview involved a face-to-face chat that went through my CV and a writing test.

Yesterday morning I received a call from them when I was on the train to Tianjin for an interview with another company. Bingo, I passed. Now you may think that the coming interview must have been of no importance to me. Well, a chance is a chance. You simply cannot take for granted that interview opportunities are coke cans to be grabbed with every bit of ease from a supermarket shelf. I still attended the interview and did my best.

I'll be a working man from next Monday. By the way, the name of the company is EDAW.

PS, my brief introduction still appears to be a bit wrong. Despite the fact that there exists a city called Cardiff in the US, the one I refer to is the British one, the capital of Wales, one of the four constituent countries of the UK, along with England, Scotland and Northern Ireland. And I don't seem to have a grip how to get it changed... But anyway, if AW could take the trouble to do me this favour I'd like my intro to be something like '....from Beijing, China.', because it's where I stay.

Ta!

It must be my being interviewed day!

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4

When I got to the classroom this morning, people kept asking me the same question, "Why are you here? You should have gone for the Tencent interview." I said, "No, I'm not on the list." And then? And then I found myself on the list at noon when visiting the campus bbs. But I hadn't seen my name on the list and hadn't received any notification before! Anyway, the interview was scheduled in the morning, so I just took a copy of my resume and rushed to the hotel.

When I got there, I saw many people in suits. Seems like filming men in black, without sun glasses. I don't know why people should wear suits even if they're applying for tech positions. When corps keep telling people that they don't have to wear suits when they're in the office, people keep wearing suits when they are still interviewees. What is this all about? I just don't get it.

HR said nothing after I explained why I was late. So I just filled out some forms, and started waiting for my turn. I didn't remember how long the interview lasted, but we just didn't talk too much about technical stuff. I didn't know whether I have applied the right position for me, because at the last minute the interviewer told me that I should be recommended to the web development department. Then what department he belongs to? I took an interview even if I didn't know what I have applied. Amazing!

When I got back home, I quite enjoyed my feed reading time, before I got a phone call with 010 prefix. When I just picked up the phone, the battery died out, so I only knew that it was land line number from Beijing. I knew it's important, because only interviewer would use land line number to call me. So I called back after I replaced the battery, and a voice from machine told me that it's Baidu and asked me for an extension number. I hanged it and called my friend in Baidu, asked him whether he could reach the interviewer for me. A moment later, I got the call from the interviewer again, and started the second round of interview from Baidu.

That was story about how I took two unprepared interview in one day, and here's the question: what kind of strategy you would apply, if you got offer from one corp/univ, while you're still waiting for another. (I'm not only in hiring processes of two corps. Help!)

Finding my way

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4

As you known, Beijing is a super big city, with uncountable streets and roads, but I have to choose a way back home. Fortunately, it's not so hard to choose one that I would feel safe to walk, even if I could have dozens of possibilities for a single choice. I know, it's my nature to keep things simple.

However, I could not always keep my choice. Sometimes, I would change a little randomly. Maybe I would walk some strange small path, or even go to an unfamiliar inn to have an extra supper. At that time, I feel refreshed and relaxed by doing so.

OK, here comes a problem. Why not keep myself refreshed and relaxed everyday?

I don't know, indeed. But I guess (yes, to guess my thought), that's because I don't really understand which is the most suitable way for me. It means I choose this way only for its safety -- a safe deal with assurance, not for satisfaction. I need to find a better choice.

Anyway, there should be a trade-off and no best bet. Therefore, I will keep on finding my way to make my life more interesting.